8.13.2013

Truth Be Told: A Mini Series

Okay people, it's time to get real here.
One thing I hear a lot from bloggers is that you should be completely honest on your blog in order for people to relate to you more. That instead of just sharing all the great things that happen in your life, you should share those shitty things, as well.
So here we go, "Truth Be Told" will be a mini series where I will share some of my "worst" moments, maybe once every other week. (I can't be too negative, right?)
And to start it all out, here's my truth be told: I wasn't a supportive girlfriend.

When Dillon first told me that the Air Force Academy had reached out to him about going there to play baseball, I honestly thought it would never happen. Although it was always his dream to play baseball in college, it had never been a thought in his mind to be in the military. He took the time to think about it and decided against it. As much as he wanted to play baseball, the bottom line was that he did not want to be in the military. But then came the pressure. The pressure from the coach to come out just to have a tour, the pressure from his family to "live up to his potential," the pressure from himself to "ensure a better future for us." So he went on the tour, and decided that he would go to the Academy that coming Fall semester.
I was hurt. I was confused. He had always talked to me about coming to UofA, and although I was the one that kept telling him to keep his options open, that he didn't have to go there just because I did, it was what I was expecting because that's all he would ever say. And he also said he would never play baseball somewhere that it would snow........interesting. ;)
Even though I should have never felt this way, and I should have never made him feel this way, I felt as if he chose baseball over me. Despite his insistence that he was doing it so that we could have a better future, I couldn't see that far ahead, all I could see was the "here and now" and that was that he was leaving me.
From the time he decided to go to the Academy and all through the first year of him being there, I wasn't supportive. It wasn't that I didn't want to be, I honestly just didn't understand his decision. I didn't want to talk about the Academy, and if it was brought up I would get quiet. I literally cried when he got his hair cut (pathetic, I know, but it was just one more reminder of where he was going and that it was somewhere I couldn't follow). Truthfully, we almost didn't make it through that year. I was slightly depressed that whole year and it definitely took its toll on our relationship. We would fight a lot or constantly be in a bad mood.
It wasn't until I joined the USAFA Girlfriend's facebook page that I started to warm up to the idea and become more supportive of Dillon's decision. Well at first it was hard because they were all so proud of their boyfriends and they all seemed so supportive, so it just made me feel like shit. In my defense, most of them would say things like "It has always been my boyfriend's dream to go to the Academy/be a pilot/be in the Air Force" etc.  So it was rough because I felt like I was the only one whose boyfriend went solely for sports. But then they had a "big sister/little sister" program and my "big" was absolutely amazing. I really believe that it is only through my relationship with her and a few of the other girlfriends that I was finally able to wake up and realize that I had to be more supportive of my man.
I still might not fully understand why he made the decision to go to the Academy (and sometimes I don't think he does either!) but I definitely think I have become more supportive, and I really hope he agrees. The Academy has brought some amazing opportunities for both him and us. We probably wouldn't have been able to go to Canada for a whole week if it weren't for the Academy, Dillon probably wouldn't have been able to go to Germany for three weeks this summer, and we probably wouldn't have the opportunity to live in other states (and hopefully countries!) if it weren't for the Academy.
We all have faults, and this was a major one of mine that almost took me away from the love of my life. If there does happen to be a girlfriend reading this that feels/felt the same way I would love for you to email me! It is okay to not understand and to feel sad and hurt, but I have learned that it is not okay to not be supportive of the people you love.
And for Dillon, I love you and I support you in everything you do at the Academy and beyond. As long as we get to live abroad...;)

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3 comments:

  1. First off, I LOVE all the pictures!! So glad you included so many. Second, I LOVE the honesty! This series is a good idea because it's nice to show other readers how real you are. I might try it too. :)

    I can totally understand why that must have been so hard for you and I probably would have reacted the same way as you. It's so great that you were able to work everything out though!

    P.S. I just finished my post for tomorrow! Yay!

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  2. Oh, girl! You are TOTALLY not the only one who felt that way! *I'm hanging my head in shame right now too.*

    Dan was enlisted in the Air National Guard when we started dating (I'm sure you knew that already), but it was a piece of cake. He would go to drill one weekend a month, but other than that, he just took college classes just like me, and he flew airplanes for part of his classes. It seemed like he was just a civilian!

    I remember the night he took me to Dairy Queen to share a Blizzard, and while we were there, he told me about USAFA. He said he only told one other person that he applied because he has a "one in ten million chance of getting in" (lol!!!), and I believed him. I didn't think about it again.

    Then he went on a TDY for five weeks. Just a few days before he was heading home, he texted me saying he had the best news ever and to call him as soon as I could. So I did. I thought, "Oh, yay! He's coming home early!!! So exciting!!!" ...and then he said those magical words: "I got into the Air Force Academy."

    My heart dropped, and I immediately started crying (trying not to let him hear because I didn't want to make him feel bad). We talked about it for a few minutes, but that's all a blur to me. I don't know anything that he said because I was just trying to contain my tears. All I hear was "Colorado for five years"... devastating.

    Looking back, my emotions are hysterical. I can't believe how I acted... but it was all very genuine. Now that he's almost finished, I see that this is definitely best for our future together. He will have a lot more opportunities because of this journey, and our future family will be better off because of that.

    Wow, sorry for that massive comment! I should have just written my own post. Oops. :-P

    -Janelle

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  3. I too did the exact same thing as you and Janelle. Adam and I started dating when he was already at the Academy but I found such a hard time being supportive of anything involving the military (like Dillon, he really just went there for hockey and didn't want to be in the military). Even now I get frustrated when they have training on weekends and I can't go to concerts or go out or whatever. I know it sounds selfish but we have all clearly been there which makes me feel so much better.

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