This topic has been on my mind for quite a while now, but has recently really gotten to me since Halloween was last weekend. There is a difference between trust and respect, and I believe that both are important to have in a relationship.
I have been in a long distance relationship for about three and a half years now, and the one thing I always hear from other couples in long distance relationships is that trust is the most important factor. And I do agree with that. Both my boyfriend and I have had huge trust issues. We were only 17 when we started dating and we were thrust into a long distance relationship only seven months into dating. We were young and naive and downright stupid at times. But our relationship has always been strongest when we learned to trust each other. We both still worry and jealousy creeps in, but we trust that we love each other and would never intentionally hurt one another.
Past trust, though, is respect. And I honestly think that there is too little respect going around in the relationships I see. This may be none of my business, but when pictures are shared for all to see on social media such as facebook, twitter, and instagram, I can't help but notice. I love a good party as much as the next person, but when you are in a relationship, close or long distance, there are certain ways you should present yourself. With Halloween, the trend is for girls to wear as little as possible and call it a costume. I do not necessarily look down on this - I get it, you want to look and feel sexy if only for one night. And chances are, as "slutty" as you look, there will always be a girl with less clothes on (cue fully naked ASU student). With that being said, it is disrespectful to do so and then take a ton of pictures with other guys.
Now before you think I'm a total hypocrite, I want you to know that I don't think all pictures with other guys are terrible. This is a picture I took on Saturday night. Even without knowing any details, I would like to think that if my boyfriend saw this he would not be in the slightest upset, and I did in fact send this to him. First, it's his best friend, but also I feel I am not so close to him in the photo that anyone would think that this was my "new boyfriend."
When you take a picture with your arms completely around another guy (that isn't your boyfriend or a relative), it is disrespectful to your relationship. When you take a picture that involves kissing any part of the body, it is disrespectful to your relationship. If I can't distinguish between your body and his body because you are that close, it is disrespectful to your relationship. If I, or anyone else, has to check your relationship status to make sure you're still with so-and-so, because your picture shows a different story, you are being disrespectful to your relationship. This is not about trust - you can trust your significant other and they can trust you 100%, but if you are not respectful of your boyfriend/girlfriend and the relationship you have, then that is not any better. Think twice before you get so close to another guy that it would look like you're dating, and most of all, think twice before you post said pictures on social media. Personally, I don't think you look cute, and I'm not jealous of all the fun you want to let everyone know you're having. I see someone who is trying to have a good time, but is not remembering to respect the committed relationship they are in.
Yes I love this! I have a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her in highschool and she stayed with him. Now they're doing long distance (she goes here and he goes to school in CA) and every weekend theres a new picture of him on Facebook with his arm around other girls. Like WHAT. He's already cheated on her before and now hes posting pictures with other girls?! I don't know how she handles it. And it makes him look bad to everyone else too!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I love you so much!! I completely agree with you!! It upsets me to see girls who show no respect for their significant other. For instance, when I see a picture of a girl on a guys lap and her arm is around said guy, I'm going to assume that girl is dating said guy. But, as I've discovered, a lot of girls do this even though they're not with the guy. Now, even if the girl is single and the guy is single, I still think it's disrespectful. Just because it gives the girl an "image". Other guys see this and start thinking that this is normal female behaviour. Maybe I'm just bias because, before Andrew and I started dating, I saw a few pictures of girls doing this with him - one was single. Another girl wasn't. In both instances, I thought it was wrong.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I need to stop here because I'm writing an essay. But, you're right on the money!
You totally hit the nail on the head with this one! Very well said. Also, I think maintaining a healthy respect for your partner and your relationship is bound to develop into trust, which ultimately, is a win-win! My husband once told me he doesn't "like" photos on Facebook of half-naked women, or models or anything like that, out of respect for me. I had never even thought about that, but it makes sense. He said when the things he "likes" shows up in other people's newsfeed what would they think of him, of our relationship, if it's a bunch of scantily clad women?? Anyway, great post!
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you! I recently graduated college, and 2 of the 4 years I was in a relationship. We only spent summers apart, so it wasn't total, full-fledged long distance, but I definitely think respect is completely different from trust, and I absolutely learned that those two summers. Very well-said!
ReplyDelete-Catie
booksbeautyandbars.blogspot.com
amen sista! your blog is the cutest!
ReplyDeleteyou have a way with words and saying what needs to be said. so very jealous of that!